Straightline

This semi-regular column is written (in his own blood) by an automotive sage and noted malcontent, known as The Mechanic. Mercilessly beaten as a child with rolled-up back issues of old car magazines, our free-spoken hero developed a unique "for your own good" take on cars and the auto industry, along with an unfortunate habit of setting himself ablaze. Later, after a distinguished career as an automotive journalist and magazine editor, he cast off the reins of his musty oppressors, carved out his superego with a plastic spork and became The Mechanic.

Before I begin, let me say that the following is not an attack on the people who buy Corvettes. They are good, clean, patriotic car lovers, and I think they should all be applauded for buying American.

I mean it from the bottom of my heart. Every barrel-chested baldy (sorry, retirees) and stripper (sorry, Bambi) who bought a Corvette recently deserves our respect and admiration for spending their hard-earned cash on America's sports car. God bless them all. I hope they enjoy their cars.

This column is not about them. It's about the Corvette itself, which sucks.

Continue reading Please GM, Fix the Corvette.

Categories: The Mechanic

This semi-regular column is written (in his own blood) by an automotive sage and noted malcontent, known as The Mechanic. Mercilessly beaten as a child with rolled-up back issues of old car magazines, our free-spoken hero developed a unique "for your own good" take on cars and the auto industry, along with an unfortunate habit of setting himself ablaze. Later, after a distinguished career as an automotive journalist and magazine editor, he cast off the reins of his musty oppressors, carved out his superego with a plastic spork and became The Mechanic.

Cash for Clunkers officially ended exactly one minute ago. Sad. A real shame. Now what is America's trailer trash going to do? Where's their next handout going to come from? Meth isn't getting any cheaper, ya know. Not even in this down market. Obama better get busy figuring out another way to give away my tax dollars.

Oh wait, that's right, his health care system will supply the great unwashed with plenty of my hard-earned money. Something to look forward to.

One good thing about Cash for Clunkers is how quickly it rid the world of Pontiacs. The brand just had its best few months in years. It's practically sold out of the very same crapmobiles it couldn't give away before Obama made Bubba's rusting lawn art worth $4,500.

What's that? You need a Pontiac G5 for target practice (basically the only thing it's good for), well you're out of luck. Some big-bellied, chain-smoker with beer on his breath and food stamps in his pocket just traded in his 1992 Bonneville SSEi on the last one. He's a guest on The Jerry Springer Show tonight and wanted to arrive in style.

Continue reading Clunkers and the Trailer Trash.

Categories: Auto Industry,Chrysler,Coupes,General Motors,Hatchbacks,Pontiac,Sedans,The Mechanic

This semi-regular column is written (in his own blood) by an automotive sage and noted malcontent known as The Mechanic. Mercilessly beaten as a child with rolled-up back issues of old car magazines, our free-spoken hero developed a unique "for your own good" take on cars and the auto industry, along with an unfortunate habit of setting himself ablaze. Later, after a distinguished career as an automotive journalist and magazine editor, he cast off the reins of his musty oppressors, carved out his superego with a plastic spork and became The Mechanic.

Cars are the most important thing in my life. Cars are my No. 1. They're my work, my play, they're the reason I get up in the morning, the reason I eat, sleep and drop the kids off at the pool. When it comes to cars I'm all in. I pick cars above all else. Cars or family? Cars. Cars or financial stability? Cars. Cars or the planet? Cars. Cars or peace on Earth? Cars. Cars or health care for everyone? Cars. Cars or food? Cars. Cars or shelter? Cars. Cars or America's unhealthy dependency on foreign oil? Cars. Cars or my physical well-being? Cars. Cars or the love of you Inside Line readers? Cars. Cars or Megan Fox? Megan Fox.

OK, so there is the rare exception when Cars would come in second, but for me, life is about the cars. I couldn't live without them. How about you? Can you live without cars? Are you all in, or are you one of those so-called car enthusiasts who just likes cars because your friends do, or it makes your dad happy or because you're in between interests you actually like. Or maybe you're one of those guys who claims to love cars but really likes the car industry. You like the business of cars more than the cars themselves.

Not me. I'm a car lover, and I don't have much patience for car likers. Every time I rail against anything and everything that threatens the car (the government, high gas prices, hybrids, etc.) the car likers out there call me a narrow-minded, outdated redneck. Which I just might be, if defending the car at all costs is being a narrow-minded, outdated redneck. And if that's wrong, then I don't want to be right.

Continue reading Cars Above All.

Categories: The Mechanic

This semi-regular column is written (in his own blood) by an automotive sage and noted malcontent, known as The Mechanic. Mercilessly beaten as a child with rolled-up back issues of old car magazines, our free-spoken hero developed a unique "for your own good" take on cars and the auto industry, along with an unfortunate habit of setting himself ablaze. Later, after a distinguished career as an automotive journalist and magazine editor, he cast off the reins of his musty oppressors, carved out his superego with a plastic spork and became The Mechanic.

Hmmm, what to rant about this week. Maybe I'll bitch about car names and how lame and repetitive they've gotten. Do I really want to drive around in a Venza? I can't decide between a Highlander, an Outlander, an Outlook or an Outback. Screw it, I'll get the MDX. Or is it the MKX? Hey, Rocko, I just bought myself a 3. A 3 Series? Nope. A Mazda 3? Nope. Audi A3? Nope, a G3. A what? A Pontiac G3. They're giving them away. Gets good mileage.

Nah.

I could complain about Obama and the fact that he's destroying the American auto industry and my freedom to choose my personal vehicle based on my personal likes, dislikes and desires, not some nationalistic agenda founded solely on totalitarian ideals and increasing federal involvement in the day-to-day lives of Americans.

Nah.

How about the new 2010 Ford Taurus SHO? I've driven one. Wasn't very impressed. I thought it would be faster. I also thought it would handle better. The steering is really bad. Electric assist? Kiss of death. Feels like video game steering, especially on-center. Funny thing is that our long-term Ford Flex has better steering. And why does the brake pedal have to feel like I'm pushing it into a bowl of mashed potatoes?

Continue reading Why the Taurus SHO Disappoints and Other Thoughts.

Categories: The Mechanic

Categories: Citroen,Future Vehicles,Jaguar,Luxury Cars,Sedans,The Mechanic

This semi-regular column is written (in his own blood) by an automotive sage and noted malcontent, known as The Mechanic. Mercilessly beaten as a child with rolled-up back issues of old car magazines, our free-spoken hero developed a unique "for your own good" take on cars and the auto industry, along with an unfortunate habit of setting himself ablaze. Later, after a distinguished career as an automotive journalist and magazine editor, he cast off the reins of his musty oppressors, carved out his superego with a plastic spork and became The Mechanic.

Phone rings: It's Uncle Bubba calling, which he does a lot now that he has one of those Jitterbug cell phones they advertise in the AARP magazines that have numbers so big you can see them from space. Used to be he would have to wake up six or seven innocent citizens with wrong numbers before he finally got The Mechanic. Or the liquor store that delivers.

So Uncle Bubba says: "I was watching Katie Couric the other night and she said, near as I can remember, 'Yadayadayada CASH FOR CLUNKERS yadayadayada.' It occurred that we have clunkers, and I need cash, so tell me what to do."

Continue reading Cash for Clunkers Is a Junker.

Categories: The Mechanic

Photo illustrations by Nick Wilcox (http://automotiverenderings.blogspot.com)

This semi-regular column is written (in his own blood) by an automotive sage and noted malcontent, known as The Mechanic. Mercilessly beaten as a child with rolled-up back issues of old car magazines, our free-spoken hero developed a unique "for your own good" take on cars and the auto industry, along with an unfortunate habit of setting himself ablaze. Later, after a distinguished career as an automotive journalist and magazine editor, he cast off the reins of his musty oppressors, carved out his superego with a plastic spork and became The Mechanic.

Forget about bankruptcy. GM's big problem is the 2010 Chevrolet Camaro. The fools in the Center of Renaissance aren't building enough of them. They need to be cranking out more badass versions of their new red-hot hot rod; like right now. You know, before Obama and the Green Brigade take it away from us.

The Camaro needs saving. Here are my brilliant ideas how to save it.

Continue reading Save the Camaro: 10 Camaros GM Needs To Build Right Now.

Categories: The Mechanic

This semi-regular column is written (in his own blood) by an automotive sage and noted malcontent, known as The Mechanic. Mercilessly beaten as a child with rolled-up back issues of old car magazines, our free-spoken hero developed a unique "for your own good" take on cars and the auto industry, along with an unfortunate habit of setting himself ablaze. Later, after a distinguished career as an automotive journalist and magazine editor, he cast off the reins of his musty oppressors, carved out his superego with a plastic spork and became The Mechanic.

Are you like me? Did you grow up dreaming of power, the open road and individual automotive freedom? Of course you did. But the dream is over. President Obama has smashed it into a million little Tata Nano-shaped pieces.

The new fuel economy and emissions regulations proposed by the Obamanation on Tuesday won't save much fuel and won't save the planet, but they will crush the life out of the car business. From here on out, cars are going to shrink in size, shrivel in power and grow more expensive.

Continue reading Obama, CAFE and the End of Performance Cars.

Categories: The Mechanic

This semi-regular column is written (in his own blood) by an automotive sage and noted malcontent, known as The Mechanic. Mercilessly beaten as a child with rolled-up back issues of old car magazines, our free-spoken hero developed a unique "for your own good" take on cars and the auto industry, along with an unfortunate habit of setting himself ablaze. Later, after a distinguished career as an automotive journalist and magazine editor, he cast off the reins of his musty oppressors, carved out his superego with a plastic spork and became The Mechanic.

Man, what a couple of weeks. Between the swine flu and every single company in America except ol' Edmunds Inc. declaring bankruptcy, I'm ready to fire up the kerosene generator and find my way in the dark for a while. Live off the grid, as they say.

I could probably do it, but not without the DTs. The things I would miss the most are the cars and my iPhone. Don't laugh. I'm not really a techie, but I just got this great app. It's called Get a Life. You share it with your iPhone-addicted friends and it kills them.

Which brings me to Pontiac. It's been sentenced to death, as I'm sure you've heard, and I'm not really that cool with it. Fact is, it shouldn't have happened. Pontiac's demise wasn't fate. It was murder. Cold-blooded murder. A result of bad management, and proof that people who don't like cars shouldn't work at car companies.

Continue reading Why the Genesis Coupe Shoulda Been a Pontiac.

Categories: The Mechanic

This semi-regular column is written (in his own blood) by an automotive sage and noted malcontent, known as The Mechanic. Mercilessly beaten as a child with rolled-up back issues of old car magazines, our free-spoken hero developed a unique "for your own good" take on cars and the auto industry, along with an unfortunate habit of setting himself ablaze. Later, after a distinguished career as an automotive journalist and magazine editor, he cast off the reins of his musty oppressors, carved out his superego with a plastic spork and became The Mechanic.

It happened twice this week. Somebody poked a head into my cubicle and said, "Hey, The Mechanic, have you heard? Kids don't like cars anymore. Cars to them are just transportation. The passion for the car in this world is dead."

Both times I thought to myself, "Oh no, not again." The demise of the passion for cars has been predicted for the past half century, and always by those who think the car should be nothing more than an A-to-B conveyance. It was said during the turmoil of the 1960s, the gas crisis of the early and late 1970s, the recession of the early 1980s, during the industry's switch to computer controls and EFI in the late 1980s and almost continuously since the Internet fired up more than 10 years ago.

Continue reading Fun Cars Aren't Dead. But They Might Be Soon.

Categories: The Mechanic

This semi-regular column is written (in his own blood) by an automotive sage and noted malcontent, known as The Mechanic. Mercilessly beaten as a child with rolled-up back issues of old car magazines, our free-spoken hero developed a unique "for your own good" take on cars and the auto industry, along with an unfortunate habit of setting himself ablaze. Later, after a distinguished career as an automotive journalist and magazine editor, he cast off the reins of his musty oppressors, carved out his superego with a plastic spork and became The Mechanic.

I don't know how to save General Motors. Do you?

Wait, before you answer do me a favor and shut up. You don't know. Nobody does.

Oh, there are plenty of people out there, from senators to meth dealers, who think they know how to turn the once great automaker back to great, but they don't know either. I've been covering the auto industry for more than 20 years. And in that time I've seen GM try anything and everything more than once, only to see things get worse.

Continue reading Pontiac and the Trailer Trash.

Categories: The Mechanic

This semi-regular column is written (in his own blood) by an automotive sage and noted malcontent, known as The Mechanic. Mercilessly beaten as a child with rolled-up back issues of old car magazines, our free-spoken hero developed a unique "for your own good" take on cars and the auto industry, along with an unfortunate habit of setting himself ablaze. Later, after a distinguished career as an automotive journalist and magazine editor, he cast off the reins of his musty oppressors, carved out his superego with a plastic spork and became The Mechanic.

Last night I got a phone call from a friend who had just been invited by his friend to be a guest at an early screening of the movie Fast & Furious in Hollywood. Essentially The Fast and the Furious 4, the film is the latest in the F&F series, and it opens nationwide April 3rd. He was excited and thought I'd want to know about the movie.

I did, of course. I had seen the first three Fast and Furious films, but not this new one. I had only seen the trailers on www.fastandfuriousmovie.net and the big Super Bowl commercial. I wanted to know everything.

Here's what he had to say (spoiler alert for those who actually care about the plot).

Continue reading Fast & Furious 4: Secondhand Review.

Categories: The Mechanic

This semi-regular column is written (in his own blood) by an automotive sage and noted malcontent, known as The Mechanic. Mercilessly beaten as a child with rolled-up back issues of old car magazines, our free-spoken hero developed a unique "for your own good" take on cars and the auto industry, along with an unfortunate habit of setting himself ablaze. Later, after a distinguished career as an automotive journalist and magazine editor, he cast off the reins of his musty oppressors, carved out his superego with a plastic spork and became The Mechanic.

If there's one thing The Mechanic can't stand, it's a poorly disguised political agenda. Especially when it's masquerading as a public service. And global warming, friends, is one of those poorly disguised agendas, and has been for years. But now, thanks to the smoke screen pros in the California state legislature and on the Air Resources Board, it's being sold as a public service.

Have you seen the latest bit of propaganda? It's called an "Environmental Performance Label" and beginning in January of this year it is attached to the window sticker on every car sold in California. And on every label will be a (no kidding!) "Global Warming Score." That is, according to the CARB Web site, a "score based on the sum of a vehicle's greenhouse gas emissions, which are identified as the CO2-equivalent value."

This is a problem for many reasons.

Even Mrs. The Mechanic, my left-leaning wife, can see the state's agenda as clearly as if it had stuck its big, green finger in her eye. The only agreeable fact about global warming is that scientists disagree. And the venom is ugly on both sides.

But the CARB, once you poke through its smoke screen, is clear about its stance that man is creating global warming through CO2 emissions and that cars -- since they emit CO2 -- are to blame. Here's another gem from the Global Warming Score explanation accompanying the EP label section on its Web site:

"Scientists are certain that human activities are changing the composition of the atmosphere and that increasing the concentration of greenhouse gases will eventually change the planet's climate."

That's true. Some scientists are certain this is the case. These are the same scientists who have the ear of the mainstream media that trumpets their "sky is falling" agenda with abundant clarity and volume. Private jet and yacht owner Al Gore should be so proud.

Other scientists aren't so sure. In fact, many are certain it is due to natural variation or solar activity. But without the ability to tax, regulate and demonize nature, the media and politicians are less eager to broadcast this possibility.

For the title "Global Warming Score," Gerhard Achtelik, Air Resources Board manager, offered the following explanation: "It is a result of focus groups who overwhelmingly indicated that 'Global Warming' is the terminology they understand." And you know who has time to participate in focus groups, don't you? Concerned citizens who have tired of Scooby-Doo reruns.

Whether global warming is actually manmade doesn't concern the board when applying this label. Neither does the idea that it stands to stigmatize vehicles with a low score based on controversial science. Why is a publicly funded agency picking sides on an unresolved issue? Especially when it comes to influencing car buyers? The CARB just made my list. Along with Bob Lutz, the Toyota Prius and Speed Channel.

Here's a fact I doubt the CARB has considered: Based on current sales estimates, only 0.024 percent -- an incomprehensively small volume -- of the annual worldwide CO2 output will be from cars bearing the global warming score label. And we're supposed to think it matters?

The real question is this: Why didn't the board name the label "CO2 Equivalency Score" or something with similar political neutrality? This title is inclusive of gases that global warming proponents love to hate (Nitrous Oxide, Methane and CO2) so such a name seems obvious.

According to air pollution specialist and staff member at CARB, Lisa Chiladakis, the problem with this name -- aside from the fact that it lacks the necessary political punch -- is that it doesn't account for leaked air-conditioning refrigerant, which is the final component of the score. But in truth, the volume and potential net effect of leaked refrigerant over the life of a car is far less than that of CO2 equivalent gases it expels any time its engine is running -- assuming you believe, like the CARB, that those gases cause global warming.

In one final ironic twist, the refrigerant which is so concerning, R-134a, came about as a replacement for R-12 which itself was banned for its supposed contribution to ozone depletion. Remember that whole debacle back in the '90s? Neither does anyone else.

All of which makes The Mechanic wonder how much we'll remember about global warming or this stupid Global Warming Score in 15 years. -- The Mechanic, Inside Line Contributor

E-mail me at themechanic@edmunds.com

Categories: The Mechanic

This semi-regular column is written (in his own blood) by an automotive sage and noted malcontent, known as The Mechanic. Mercilessly beaten as a child with rolled-up back issues of old car magazines, our free-spoken hero developed a unique "for your own good" take on cars and the auto industry, along with an unfortunate habit of setting himself ablaze. Later, after a distinguished career as an automotive journalist and magazine editor, he cast off the reins of his musty oppressors, carved out his superego with a plastic spork and became The Mechanic.

I've been getting a lot of angry e-mails lately from rosy-cheeked sycophants calling me a hater. One guy wrote, "You hate everything, The Mechanic, and I'm tired of it. I hope you die."

Die? Now there's some positive vibe.

But the long trail of e-mail from the mentally disturbed did give me pause. "Maybe I am too negative," I said out loud. "Maybe I really do hate everything. Maybe I should write a positive piece for a change." It sounded like a good idea, but I was talking to myself, and that's never a good sign. So I took my meds. I don't really need them anymore, only when I see the giant bugs in the sky. They live in clouds, you know. And they only come out at night. Just last week one chased me around my neighborhood for four hours. I went to take the trash out and.... Well, long story short, I got away, but then I couldn't sleep so I wrote this. It's about the underappreciated.

The fact is that there are many things in our little world of cars that don't get the recognition they deserve. So I decided to make a list of things I thought were underrated. This is my Underrated List and I'm positive you'll enjoy it.

Jaguar XK
Jaguar sold just 2,779 in 2008. Meanwhile, BMW sold 5,341 6 Series and Mercedes moved 5,464 SLs. The XK is beautiful from the curb and from the driver seat. It's the best car Jaguar has ever made. More people should be buying them.

Domestic quality
This one is tricky for two reasons. First, everyone has their own definition of quality, and second, there are some vehicles I don't think this applies to. But if you're not buying a Ford Flex or a Buick Enclave or a Pontiac G8 or a Cadillac CTS or a Ford Edge, etc. because you think it's going to fall apart and spend most of its days at the dealership service department, you're living in the past. And the Inside Line Long-Term Test blog is packed with real-world data to support this.

Chevy Corvette ZR1
Sure, everyone says it's great. But it's even better than that: it's the world's greatest performance car. No, I'm not kidding. Nail the throttle in a ZR1 and your life changes. It alters your reality. I must have one. And GM should be getting the credit it deserves for building the damn thing.

Mitsubishi Lancer
Forgotten in a sea of Civics, Corollas and Mazda 3s. The Lancer is a hell of a nice car that gets lost in the mix. Maybe now that the new Mazda 3 looks like the Chevy Cobalt drives, more people will give the Lancer a chance.

Wagons
They're always the next big thing, but never seem to be. They should be. Ninety-nine percent of the fools out there driving around in SUVs, crossovers and even minivans should be driving a wagon. And not some fake high-riding wagon like the Benz R-Class, the Ford Flex and that new Toyota Venza thing. I mean a real wagon.

BMW 3 Series
Best all-around car on the market today. A marvel of engineering. If you find it unappealing, you probably live and work in Detroit or have ball bearings for brains. Wait a minute, that's the same thing. Forget it.

Pushrods
See Chevy Corvette ZR1 above. By the way, they're also under the hoods of the Dodge Challenger SRT8 and the Chevy Camaro SS.

All of the wonderful Inside Line/Straightline Readers
Simple pandering.

Hatchbacks
The "Americans don't buy hatchbacks" thing has been around too long. Fact is, they only buy good hatchbacks like the Mini Cooper and the VW Rabbit. Hatchbacks, like wagons, should be in more American driveways.

Chrysler 200C Concept
The most important car at the Detroit auto show. Proves Chrysler isn't dead on the inside.

The Ugliness of the Nissan Murano
Looks like 16 different people designed it. Which would be fine if any of them had any design talent. How do you make a Murano look good? Park it next to a new Maxima.

The Stupidity of iDrive
Amazing, even after all these years of calling it stupid, iDrive remains so stupid, its stupidity makes this list.

The It Factor
The one part of a car that cannot be designed or engineered. It's also the most important part of any car. Without it, you've got the Cadillac XLR.

Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8
The only SUV that could make me give up on wagons.

Audi TT
An engineering and design marvel. Think about it; it's a VW Rabbit underneath.

Pontiac G8 GT
Dollar for dollar, pound for pound, feature for feature, this is America's best sedan.

Tires
Inarguably the most important part of any car. Think about it, it's the only part of your vehicle that touches the ground. Cheaping out by not replacing them in a timely manner or buying them at Pep Boys because you can get 4 for $50 is just foolish. And for god's sake, check your tire pressure.

Driving a car that makes you feel good
Completely forgotten since gas prices went haywire. Worth remembering.

Ford Flex
Ford's best. Proof Mulally and Co. are capable of getting it 97 percent right.

Honda Accord
Still the benchmark for the class. A real example of Honda's talents. Load one up, however, and the price starts making a Pontiac G8 GT look like the one.

The failure of Cadillac's V-Series
Last year Cadillac sold fewer than 1,000 V-Series cars. Meanwhile BMW moved 1,400 M5s. Yes, just M5s. Maybe the new CTS-V will get the V-Series back on the map, but let's face it: After several years of trying, Cadillac is again starting from scratch. -- The Mechanic, Inside Line Contributor

E-mail me at themechanic@edmunds.com.

Categories: The Mechanic

This semi-regular column is written (in his own blood) by an automotive sage and noted malcontent, known as The Mechanic. Mercilessly beaten as a child with rolled-up back issues of old car magazines, our free-spoken hero developed a unique "for your own good" take on cars and the auto industry, along with an unfortunate habit of setting himself ablaze. Later, after a distinguished career as an automotive journalist and magazine editor, he cast off the reins of his musty oppressors, carved out his superego with a plastic spork and became The Mechanic.

Two weeks ago I wrote about the importance of being optimistic in these troubled times. And I stand behind the sentiment contained within those wonderfully crafted 690 words. But don't misunderstand; optimism should also be selectively doled out.

Sure the future looks bright, but not everything is great. In fact, during the inescapable 24-hour news cycle, many things get overrated. Too many things. And since I like the sound of my own thoughts, I thought I'd make a list of those things.

I expect many of you to disagree with me on many of these, but remember: If you do, you're wrong.

The Dodge Challenger SRT8
Not only is it too damn big, but a Shelby Mustang GT500 sucks its doors off.

Chip Foose
Enough with the two-tone and the billit. Talk about a one-note samba. Time to overhaul your aesthetic.

2009 Nissan GT-R
Too noisy. Too rough. Too fragile. Better not use the launch control.

Piloti Driving Shoes
Piloti must be Italian for "Geek in the overpriced clown-booties."

The Toyota Prius
If any conventional car was that ugly, that uncomfortable and that rotten to drive, it would have been a laughingstock.

The Tesla
Part car, part bullshit. Buying one seems to require a secret handshake, a briefcase full of cash and a pinky swear to never drive the car in public. I've seen only one on the road and I live in the hybrid-loving more-money-than-brains club headquarters that is West Los Angeles. If they're selling these things like they say they are, where are they selling them, Ohio?

Small SUVs
Acura RDX, Infiniti EX35, VW Tiguan, etc. Who the hell buys a sport-utility with absolutely no utility? There's more room in my sinus cavity than the new crop of cute utes.

2009 Lincoln MKS
Worst engine in its class. Would have been competitive during Clinton's second term.

Speed Channel
Too much NASCAR. Too much Pinks. Too much Wrecked. Not enough cool stuff.

2010 Ford Mustang
Second verse same as the first. Suddenly it's 2005.

Sync
Bong, play Britney. Bong, play Britney. Bong, play Britney.

Saturn Aura
So much better than the embarrassing Ion it replaced, this average sedan was destined for overrated status.

Top Gear
Oops. My mistake. This should not be on the list. Top Gear really is that good.

Lexus IS-F
Fake tailpipes and suspension tuning endorsed by the American Chiropractic Association.

Honda Civic Si
Sinfully ugly. No torque. Battlestar Galactica called and wants its dashboard back.

2009 Jaguar XF
Looks like a tarted-up Lexus GS. It may be a needed new styling statement for the luxury car division of Tata Motors, but after the sexpot XK (also designed by Ian Callum) it's nothing short of a letdown.

2009 Chevy Corvette
Fast? Yup. Affordable? Kinda. Plasticky? Oh yeah. Looks like it got rear-ended by a semi? Twice.

Me
I'm not really as great as I say I am. Plus, my cottage cheese thighs could use a little sun.

Bob Lutz
He once told me the Saturn Ion was good. It wasn't.

Miles Per Gallon
In case you haven't noticed (and nobody has) gas is really cheap again. -- The Mechanic, Inside Line Contributor

E-mail me at themechanic@edmunds.com

Categories: The Mechanic