You Write the Caption: 3-2-1...

The producers of the American Top Gear just don't get it when the Brits talk about "flappy paddle shifters" and "really big boots."

Hot bods vying for brass pole position.

Those are some really nice bumbershoots!

"The Fast and the Flirtatious"

this is all you have to do, hold the sign as high above your head as you can and watch them crash...

Drool......

Are they modeling the new Piloti driving boots?

3-2-1 Faint!

I've got your Straightline right here!

Strip!

Love that girl on girl action!

Lickety-split fast action!

Mary Poppins & Freinds go the race's...

Look them in the eyes... Look them in the eyes!!!

As a starter, Bob always felt that the drivers disrespected him, but boy were the fringe benefits worth it!

Make Daddy proud, ladies.

Ed was so glad that Takahashi or Riswick didn't get this road trip.

Hello, Blondstar? THANK YOU!!!

And #6 wins it by a ni... er, I mean a nose!

Thank God for the belt tuck.

There's enough silicon in the pic to make 10 supercomputers....

Six Silicon Valleys make a Silicon Alley

Suspension Walkaround?

"Brothel is shut to make way for new race track. Wags get confused."

or

"Rachel takes a tit, urrm... I mean pit stop."

or

"Man shows girls how to lift top."

or

"Women drivers turn up for a race. Forget to bring their cars..."

NASCAR is searching for the next Danica....

Aw; screw it....YOU'RE ALL WINNERS!!!!!

The "Amazing Race" Playboy style...

Slippery when wet...
(Sorry IL...couldn't resist the last one....)

A weekend with the Viper, a paid trip to the Bimbo Nationals, Ed is living his dream.

Man to dumb broads: This is called the number 3. Now how many fun holes do you have?
Dumb broads kinda together: Three!
Man: Good job!

@lexuslvr:

:^O

Simon says, "Umbrella in right hand!" You, the brunette in the red thigh-highs, you're out!

Welcome to the last Hummer Invitational! We're hoping to go out with a bang!

That's the best round card lady they could find?

@technetium99, I see you're examining every detail of the photo closely. ;)

Welcome to the Double D'Entendre Championship.

As soon as you have learned numbers, we will move on to letters.

This year's WSB is brought to you by the letters D & D.

The mountain views are amazing!

Best... bike race... ever.

Ladies, these are known as odd numbers.

OK ladies, this is your third and final chance. What number is THIS?

You put your right foot in and you shake it all about...

Simon says...

Oddly, they were teaching HIM what to do.

"No! I said I need a group of LAMBOS."

I'm thinking about just cutting out the middleman.

*last one was for long-term.

"The racewear sure has changed since my day."

And people ask why I love being a starter?

Who wants to marry the Stig? Answer in 3 seconds.

"Project Runway" at the Dunsfold Aerodrome

Psssst, Mr. Conductor. This isn't the marching band.

In its efforts to attract a larger audience, professional drag racing hits a new low.

We found the Weapons of Mass Distraction!

** Question for everyone. At what age do you become an official "Dirty Old Man"? **

Track Tested:

Specifications: Umbrellas & Boots

As Tested Curb Weight (lb): 708 minus Umbrellas and Boots

Handling Rating: Good

Slalom ($ph): priceless

Comments: Regenerative braking always a nuisance. Easy to work and feels responsive. Conversation feels like it's always half a step behind. Once you figure out the timing it works well.

"This is how many times you say the price is non-negotiable before calling Papa Shizzle."

And now the start of the 1st Annual San Francisco " DRAG " race !

" OK number 3 , it's your turn in the Ladies Room ! "

No wonder Checa couldn't shift right ...

So that's how NASCAR plans on expanding its coverage...

Suddenly; every 13 year old male DESPERATELY wants to attending driving school.

The rejects of "Charm School" have their first major test-COUNTING...

"Ok ladies-Sign #1 means to flirt; Sign #3 means look clueless and Sign #5 is act ditzy."

How golddiggers are selected for "Rock of Love"

Try outs for the video of the Hollies "Bus Stop."

The NASCAR drivers ex-wives club.

And when THIS number flashes on your dash, step on the leftmost pedal with your left foot, and move the lever-thingy up, right, and up again with your right hand....

"Umbrela... check, waders... check, flotation devices... check"

or

"people were skeptical when ugly bob bought a motorcycle to pick up chicks"

and

"crotchrockets take the win for most effective mid-life crisis aid"

If you suffer from E.D. Hellwig, contact an Umbrella Girl.

Yeah, just like Nascar fans don't come for the wrecks.

The epitome of the Mechanic's career.

Be careful. Plastic melts in the rain.

These boots are made for racin'

The cure for Captionphile Dysfunction!

"Not funny! Who took the number before this one?!"

Attention Ladies. I hold in my hands the number 3 - it is not a W or an E. Repeat after me. "Three".

Candidate #3 prepares to perform rain dance.

That's it ladies! Heel and toe, heel and toe!

Can you guess which one is a man?

The Starting Official was actually starting to get annoyed...

The Hottie and the Nottie

No men were injured in the taking of this photo. They just turned a little blue.

The umbrellas aren't the only blue things in this photo.

I love white with red racing stripes.

That is a patch in the road, right?

Is this photoshopped by Nick Wilcox? There is no way he could get that close to those women.

the backwards umbrella race was severely hampered by lack of wind...