This semi-regular column is written (in his own blood) by an automotive sage and noted malcontent, known as The Mechanic. Mercilessly beaten as a child with rolled-up back issues of old car magazines, our free-spoken hero developed a unique "for your own good" take on cars and the auto industry, along with an unfortunate habit of setting himself ablaze. Later, after a distinguished career as an automotive journalist and magazine editor, he cast off the reins of his musty oppressors, carved out his superego with a plastic spork and became The Mechanic.
CONCORD, North Carolina - The 200-odd NASCAR-covering media here for the 28th Annual NASCAR Sprint Media Tour Hosted by Charlotte Motor Speedway (CMS) - we promised to spell all that out at least once for our gracious hosts - are getting kind of bored, since everybody pretty much says the same thing. Such as "excited."
Twenty-two times in one brief press conference on Wednesday. Drivers and owners are excited about the new season, excited to be heading to Daytona, excited about Burger King's new $1 value breakfast menu - it doesn't take much to excite what must be the most excitable people north of Haiti.
Well, with one exception, and we'll get to him in a minute. Here's what happened on Day Three:
NASCAR Nationwide Series Announcement
The Mechanic was not excited about getting up early for this announcement, especially after a late night at Dale Earnhardt, Jr.'s downtown club, Whisky River (no, Junior didn't show), but that's what we dedicated media types do: show up. In this case, for an announcement that NASCAR.com is stepping up its coverage of the second-tier Nationwide series.
Making the announcement was John Aman, some sort of vice president for the company. They will also continue a program that awards $25,000 to a driver who can win all four races at selected tracks - Iowa, Kentucky, Nashville and Texas - an opportunity that driver Colin Braun revealed was "pretty neat." Media training on aisle three, please.
Charlotte Motor Speedway Press Conference
Our daily dose of Charlotte Motor Speedway excitement was actually pretty interesting: In July, the track will host a $1-million-to-win event for the Legends series, which are the little racecars that look like 1930s coupes and sedans, powered by 1200cc Yamaha engines. And - imagine the coincidence! - they are manufactured and sold by Speedway Motorsports, owner of CMS.
Even so, for a car that costs about $13,000 new, that's a pretty compelling purse. The bad news: They are expecting like 1,000 entries. Also interesting: One of the young racers who showed up with his Legends car was towing it in a triple-decker, 38-foot trailer with a diesel tractor - this for a car that fits in the back of a pickup truck. Lots of NASCAR racers like Kyle Busch, Joey Logano and David Ragan - his father, former NASCAR driver Ken Ragan, ran the Legends program - all came up through the series. Good for them.
It was CMS's second announcement that, finally, added some Flair to the proceedings, and I capitalize "Flair" because they trotted out Ric "Nature Boy" Flair, the ancient pro wrestler who turns 61 next month but still snarls like a man of, like, 55.
Flair is featured on a poster that pits Dale "Wahoo" Junior vs. Kevin "Baron Von" Harvick, and Kyle "Rowdy" Busch vs. Tony "Smoke" Stewart, all in the May 22 "Backyard Brawl," otherwise known as the Sprint All-Star race. At the bottom of the poster is Ric Flair, saying "WOOOOOOOOO!" This is, of course, his trademark mating call, and the track wants fans to submit videos of themselves sounding like Ric Flair, for a chance to win tickets to the race.
But the press release lists "WOOOOO!" with only five Os, four fewer than the poster, so you are on your own here. At least Flair didn't bleed all over the podium, which must have required restraint for the best blade man in the business. Poor guy's forehead looks like a road map to Red China from decades of pre-match razor blade cuts, which conveniently split open and gush during matches. This suggests correctly that The Mechanic knows way more about professional wrestling than he should.
Lunch at Hendrick Motorsports
This is the happiest place in Charlotte, with Jimmie Johnson the reigning four-time Sprint Cup champion; Mark Martin, who finished 2nd in the points, and Jeff Gordon, a four-time champ who finished 3rd.
But the fourth driver on the podium looked and sounded as sad as Conan O'Brien's agent: Dale Earnhardt, Jr., not only didn't make the Chase for the Championship, but he didn't win a race last year. NASCAR's perennial "Most Popular Driver" seemed absolutely morose, fielding questions from the crowd with a quiet resignation that suggests 2010 will be little better than 2009. He only used the word "excited" twice, which in this business is the equivalent of a suicide note.
Then, privately, meeting with small groups of media members, he was no better. He was polite - always is - but just seems beaten down. He was asked about chemistry with his team and new crew chief, Lance McGrew, who must force himself to be part mechanic, part Dr. Phil. Junior said he wasn't sure what good chemistry was, but that he has never experienced what he thinks Jimmie Johnson and his crew chief, Chad Knaus, have.
"Is chemistry a myth? Maybe it's a myth," Earnhardt said. "I guess I'll know it if I see it." Sigh. And this is the guy who had been sipping on his sponsor, AMP energy drink, all day. Imagine what he'd be like on herbal tea?
Anyway, Mark Martin, at 50, seems more than ready for 2010, though he admits he's worried that his only son, Matt, is about to join the U.S. Marines. Semper fi, little dude.
Michael Waltrip Racing Dinner
This was a weird little evening, with the media bused to Cornelius to Waltrip's big, beautiful shop, which used to be a movie theater, appropriate for the most theatrical NASCAR driver. Except Mikey is backing away from driving in the Sprint Cup series, replacing himself with journeyman Martin Truex, who is still fighting to get past the "also-ran" status.
Mikey was dressed in a too-short blue suit - "Looks like he's ready for class at a Catholic school," somebody said. Even so, no one is a better, or more tiresome, shill for his sponsors, which is good because his other drivers - Truex, David Reutimann and Marcos Ambrose - didn't have much to say, except to note that they were "excited."
Hospitality With Speed TV
Low pressure, lots to drink and a chance to mingle with stand-up comic/driver Kenny Wallace and the retired Jimmy Spencer, sporting an ever-improving toupee and the biggest unlit cigar you ever saw.
Tomorrow, for the finale, we get to hear from Earnhardt Ganassi Racing, travel to the CMS drag strip to listen to John Force - that should take a few hours - and then finally, it winds up with a two-hour visit to NASCAR's Charlotte facility, where we will hear all about new rules changes such as spoilers instead of wings on Cup cars, and maybe NASCAR will even admit that it is going to fuel injection in 2011, something it decided last year but still hasn't announced.
And then, The Mechanic heads home. I'm "excited." - The Mechanic, Inside Line Contributor
E-mail me at themechanic@edmunds.com.
subytrojan says:
04:18 PM, 01/21/10
Woooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! Keep stylin' and profilin'!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2F3aHg2jqKE
roadburner says:
05:01 PM, 01/21/10
NASCAR has been devolving into the the four wheel equivalent of professional wresting for the past couple of decades. It's nice to know that the NASCAR suits are finally giving credit where credit is due.
ptcdawg says:
05:07 PM, 01/21/10
If you don't like Nascar......and I don't, why even take the time to write this article?
f1ndler says:
11:35 PM, 01/21/10
Is this guy on a picture talking about the weather?
mrryte says:
06:57 AM, 01/22/10
ptcdawg says:
"If you don't like Nascar......and I don't, why even take the time to write this article?"
Most likely his boss assigned him to it. The interesting thing is that he whines about how superficial and outlandish this NASCAR media event, yet that's the very same style he employs in every single one of his silly rambles.....I mean "semi-regular columns".
f1ndler says:
"Is this guy on a picture talking about the weather?"
You mean you don't about "The Nature Boy"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ric_Flair
As for the poster:
Flair is featured on a poster that pits Dale "Wahoo" Junior vs. Kevin "Baron Von" Harvick, and Kyle "Rowdy" Busch vs. Tony "Smoke" Stewart, all in the May 22 "Backyard Brawl," otherwise known as the Sprint All-Star race. At the bottom of the poster is Ric Flair, saying "WOOOOOOOOO!" This is, of course, his trademark mating call, and the track wants fans to submit videos of themselves sounding like Ric Flair, for a chance to win tickets to the race.
jmess says:
07:28 AM, 01/22/10
There are so many media touch points for NASCAR do we really need another one at Edmunds? Anyone remember what the Speed Channel use to be like before NASCAR ruined it?
lmbvette says:
08:10 AM, 01/22/10
Am I the only one childish enough to read this below and almost spit out my morning tea?
Kyle "Rowdy" Busch.
Is that the same as "Unruly"?
Bahahahahaahahahaha
subytrojan says:
07:09 PM, 01/22/10
R.I.P. Speedvision. I loved watching FIA GT racing on it back in the day.
pc123456 says:
10:15 AM, 01/24/10
nice fake tan
garrym says:
08:40 PM, 01/25/10
I've enjoyed the Mechanics recent rants on the NASCAR media uh, Stupidity Tour. As a kid in Canada, I enjoyed real stock cars, driven by legendary drivers on my parents black and white TV. As the years went by, I could not relate to what NASCAR stock car evolved into. I chuckle when I watch the interviews peppered by the driver plugging whatever sponsor has a decal on his car.
Not much to get excited about now. Bring back real stock cars. And why is the Mustang now going to be in NASCAR? Whose idea is that? No wonder my son (age 23) describes NASCAR and those involved as "Hillbillies." Yet, I talked to a few Americans who are really into the sport. Why, I don't know. Generic cars, going round and round.
Good thing there other forms of auto racing to keep my attention. Justing waiting for the 24 Hours of Datona. WOOOOOOOO!