This semi-regular column is written (in his own blood) by an automotive sage and noted malcontent, known as The Mechanic. Mercilessly beaten as a child with rolled-up back issues of old car magazines, our free-spoken hero developed a unique "for your own good" take on cars and the auto industry, along with an unfortunate habit of setting himself ablaze. Later, after a distinguished career as an automotive journalist and magazine editor, he cast off the reins of his musty oppressors, carved out his superego with a plastic spork and became The Mechanic.
For the record, killing is bad and should be avoided, along with Brussels sprouts and flip-flops in the workplace. Still, I call this one Kill the Car Guy. It's a phrase I've just had enough of. Everybody's a car guy these days; just ask them.
You used to have real credentials to call yourself a car guy. Grated knuckle skin. Greasy fingernails. R Compound tires. A racing trophy. Proof you've been to some racetrack somewhere at sometime. A basic understanding of the internal combustion engine. Knowing how to heel-and-toe downshift. Knowing how to do a proper burnout. Knowing the GT-R is not the new Skyline. Knowing which one is Bo and which is Luke. Something.
Relax. I'm not saying you need to know all this stuff to qualify. It's not that simple. There's no litmus test here. You just need to invest in cars. What you choose to invest is up to you: could be your time, your brain power, your garage space, your weekends, your marriage, or of course all of the above. I don't care what it is, but I know this; being a car guy should not be free.
There was a time when it wasn't. As little as a decade ago, car guy status still had to be earned. Earned through your knowledge and your actions. You had to have real passion for this stuff; you weren't in the club just because you wanted to be. You had to truly care and you had to make the sacrifices that come along with the commitment. It wasn't enough for cars to be just a passing interest, they had to be a high priority, an very important part of your life.
No more. These days, we let anybody in. Recently I met a guy in a Lexus ES 350 with golf shoes in his trunk. Even he claimed to be a car guy. Said he goes to the L.A. auto show every year, and remembers a 1962 Mustang his dad bought new.
That's right, a 1962 Mustang. Jerk.
Most people think money makes you a car guy, because money buys cool cars. And there are very wealthy car guys out there. Guys like Jay Leno. Sure he's overexposed and a shill for any car company that rings his phone, but he's also very knowledgeable and passionate about his cars. He'd rather be in his garage than anyplace else. That's a real car guy, pocketbook size aside.
But for every Leno there are 100 jack-o-lanterns with six-figure bonuses and new 911s. Oh sure, they call themselves car guys, but not a one has ever heard of a 993, a 996 or a 997. Not even if you put a gun to their head. Hard up against their temple. With the hammer cocked and a round in the chamber. Trust me.
Bottom line: Most self-proclaimed car guys are not. Look, I've been on a boat. Doesn't make me a boat guy. And I don't claim to be. Even if I went out and bought the biggest, dumbest, fastest, most expensive boat around, I still wouldn't be a boat guy. Even if I read a boat magazine and went to the boat show I'd still just be a guy who knows nothing about boats but owns the biggest, dumbest, fastest, most expensive boat around, which I saw in a boat magazine while I was at the boat show. Let me reiterate. I am not a boat guy.
And I'm not the only one aware of the problem. Mercedes had so many housewives and cigar aficionados leasing AMGs to impress their neighbors, the seriousness of the brand was in jeopardy, so the company invented the AMG Black Series for the real car guys.
But why? Why does every hairy back think he needs to be a car guy? I blame the recent flood of automotive television being piped into the American home. Speed TV. Overhaulin'. American Hot Rod. With every televised Foose Fade, a car guy was born. And with every episode of My Classic Mustache and Mequiar's Car Crappy there was another golfer who had heard of Carroll Shelby.
And now that every knit shirt knows Ol' Shel tuned up some Mustangs 100 years ago, that's not enough to qualify you anymore. Mrs. The Mechanic knows that much. If you're going to use your Shelby knowledge to substantiate your car guy qualifications, you better know what year he won Le Mans and what he was driving.
If not, get off my lawn.
Whatever, enough is enough. Time to take action, people.
If you ask me, use of the phrase car guy should negate true car guy status. I think we should switch it up and not tell anybody. Let's turn our backs on the car guy. Change our handshake, if you will. Put a guard at the gate. I'm thinking "Motor Head" or "Car Nut," but I'm up for suggestions. Recently Bob Lutz used "Gearhead" on The Colbert Report, which has a nice ring to it. Then, when that bozo in the 528i claims car guy status you'll know the truth.
If he really attended the final race at Riverside and has a garage packing a GT-R, a wicked black Hemi 'Cuda and two Renault R5 Turbos, he would have called himself a gearhead. But he didn't. He's a car guy. Walk away. -- The Mechanic, Contributor
E-mail me at themechanic@edmunds.com.
eclogite says:
05:26 PM, 10/13/08
Car guy, I'm not. Nor a gearhead. Perhaps just a car nut. I love learning about new cars. I'm on IL and Edmunds every day. I visit manufacturer websites regularly to read up on the cars I like and review important numbers like hp and torque. I don't know what Shelby was driving when he won Le Mans or what year. But I know that, according to the manufacturer website, the new VW TDI engine in the Jetta makes 236 ft-lbs of torque (contrary to the 263 that IL keeps reporting). So I'm not a car guy or a gearhead. I can live with that. I'm happy to be just a nut.
estreka says:
05:53 PM, 10/13/08
You know I think I used to be a car guy but I'm not anymore. Cars are too complex these days and unless you're an electrical engineer on top of all that mechanical knowhow, I don't think you could build one from the ground up these days either.
Then again, if your definition is someone who could rebuild a 'classic' hot rod, sure, I bet there are a lot of car guys out there.
slickersdrip says:
09:12 PM, 10/13/08
Best Mechanic article so far, if you ask me.
I think the definition of being a "car guy" has been too diluted to distill it in any manner, however. Unfortunately, though that is. Knowing specs and being able to race from a car brochure makes many a "car guy."
ctpax says:
10:01 PM, 10/13/08
I'm new to these forums but I've been around insideline for a few years now. I must say I'm exactly what eclogite describes as a 'car nut'.
vache1 says:
10:30 PM, 10/13/08
I'm with The Mechanic on this one. Everyone's a car guy these days and most of them are posers. Real car guys don't brag about their knowledge, but can carry a conversation about anything with 4 wheels. They build a reputation and other people trust them for their know-how. They are proud of their rides and brag only if someone asks. True car guys have a genuine appreciation for cars. It's a bit of history, a bit of wrenching, and knowing when to speak and when to listen.
PS. Hey Edmunds, I need a job! Please hire me. I'm a car guy!
benson2175 says:
10:47 PM, 10/13/08
Yeah; owning an Aura and espousing it's virtues does not make you a car guy. It makes you something else.
subytrojan says:
11:56 PM, 10/13/08
Preach it, Mechanic!
Well said! :thumbs up:
huyracing says:
11:58 PM, 10/13/08
I've been doing this for some time now. I have encountered all types of posers. The lies I have heard are truly unbelieveable. Real car guys are a rare thing. I don't know what it is about this industry/ hobby that draws in such fake people...
Call it what you will, but true car guys don't need a label. And they know a true car guy when they see one.
patrickw says:
12:09 AM, 10/14/08
I agree that being a gearhead is characterized by investment; I would contend that its nature is love. Some people really love gardening or collecting or golf or whatever; we love motorized transportation. Doesn't matter what our ride is - even if we are too young to drive or handicapped or between rides; if we love it and routinely invest our attention in it, then we are gearheads.
blueguydotcom says:
08:24 AM, 10/14/08
Car nut - as I hate working on cars (too much time doing that with my first car and I swore never again). I like to drive em hard and that's about it. I don't want to get under a car or change even my oil. I don't care what color the paint is or if the car has special gizmos. I just want it to feel right when I push it hard. Take your navi, your DSG and special brakes. Leave out the moonroof, the sound insulation and ditch the FWD. I just wanna drive.
frank908 says:
09:09 AM, 10/14/08
Oh dear Mechanic, you love to rub people the wrong way just for the attention. Congradulations, job well done.
Unfortunatly, if it were not for those self-proclaimed "car-guys" having the money (or the ego)to acutally keep Porsche alive by leasing a 911, real (self-proclaimed) car guys wouldn't have the chance to buy one pre-owned.
Don't blame the car guy for this, blame the manufacturers that offer manumatics in sports cars. Blame VW for offering the R32 in auto only
so even soccer moms can say they too are car guys.
May be this article should have set the rules up instead.
frank908 says:
09:11 AM, 10/14/08
Oh dear Mechanic, you love to rub people the wrong way just for the attention. Congradulations, job well done.
Unfortunatly, if it were not for those self-proclaimed "car-guys" having the money (or the ego)to acutally keep Porsche alive by leasing a 911, real (self-proclaimed) car guys wouldn't have the chance to buy one pre-owned.
Don't blame the pseudo car guy for this, blame the manufacturers that offer manumatics in sports cars. Blame VW for offering the R32 in auto only
so even soccer moms can say they too are car guys.
May be this article should have set the rules up instead.
PS: nice Jay Leno butt kissin you did.
nissanfanatic says:
01:01 PM, 10/14/08
"Real car guys don't brag about their knowledge, but can carry a conversation about anything with 4 wheels. They build a reputation and other people trust them for their know-how. They are proud of their rides and brag only if someone asks. True car guys have a genuine appreciation for cars. It's a bit of history, a bit of wrenching, and knowing when to speak and when to listen."
So true! With a real "car enthusiest" as I like to call us, the conversation of almost anything will inevitabley lead to cars. If were talking among other gearheads and trying to explain something difficult and unrelated, it always goes back to cars. Or for instance, we're not really involved ia a conversation, but as soon as someone mentions anything related to the automobile it becomes so much more difficult not to explode into the conversation. Especially when you here "automotive blasphemy" from some jack-off that doesn't have a clue about what he's talking about and is presenting it as fact.
It's funny, a guy I know with an 06' 328i swears out he's a "car guy".
P.S. A job at Edmunds would be a dream. If you guys need East coast contacts, I'm here. By the way, I help build Aircraft Carriers & Submarines for a living but I'm still not a boat guy.
carnage says:
06:02 PM, 10/14/08
I must agree with many people here that I am enthusiast, or a nut, but i'm not a gearhead or motorhead by any means. I've run in autocross before, I read up a lot on new cars, used cars, and classic cars, what's a good deal and what's not, how an engine works, or how a transmission works, but i'm no gearhead even after working for a year in an auto repair shop.
I can tell when a transmission is slipping, I can hear when something isn't running quite right in an engine, I can tell whether that's a fart can or if his exhaust isn't even connected. I can tell you what your problem is - can't fix it. I can reccomend you to a guy or two that I (fortunately) happen to know that are mechanic GODS, and while I might be able to understand the kind of advanced talk they speak in with reference to cars and parts, i'm not a gearhead. I don't actually much more these days than change my oil, brakes, spark plugs and tires.
Honestly this is probably the first article of yours I can agree with whole-heartedly. Down with the posers; just because you installed that CAI yourself doesn't make you a "car guy", and telling me you gained 50 horsepower from reprogamming engine's CPU in your Cobalt SS isn't going to impress me either.
autojunkie2 says:
06:28 PM, 10/14/08
I know exactly what you mean... cars consume my life, becasue I choose so, more than anything else.
Autojunkie
cruiserhead1 says:
08:10 AM, 10/15/08
The comments here just prove your point. Most are not gearheads and completely willing to explain how that, in fact, makes them a gearhead.
Denial ain't just a river in Africa.
Just like anyone of quality, it's easy to tell the real thing once you spend a little time with them.
Wow, I'm amazed. The only rant of value The Mechanic has written... ever. Hopefully the start of something worthy of Edmunds blogging...
zoolander1 says:
09:04 AM, 10/15/08
Times have changed everything we do. There is no more "cooked from scratch". Nowadays, cars come ready to go. In the old days, most cars were poor performers, and their technologies simple to modify. In present times, cars are faster, better, more suited for what they were built. Take for instance a new WRX or a Corvette; there is very little the average corner mechanic can do to outsmart factory engineers; I'm not saying it can't be done, I'm just saying that it is very hard.
desiathate says:
10:17 AM, 10/15/08
okay... so what i am then? I am on IL everyday and other websites to catch up on whatever is new and that just puts a big smile on my face. it makes a bad day a little better! I am not a rough hands build a car from scratch guy... just am trying to be a car designer because i thought till now that i was a car guy! WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO NOW? No matter i ll just carry on my marry way and time will tell what am i. All i know is cars make me happy.
msi1 says:
12:08 PM, 10/15/08
First off, if it wasn't for these wanna-be-car-guys then we would not have the cars that are available today. Back in the day the biggest size rims you would get were 15's, forget about Brembos, Recaros or even decent soundsystems.
These "car guys" have made these things more mainstream and available on today's cars. The group that are the true car guys is way to small for manufacturers to take notice.
I am happy that more people are interested in cars and know more about them today, I could care less if you call yourself a car guy or not...what matters is that we all have the same love and passion for something that takes us from point A to point B.
rkr says:
12:33 PM, 10/15/08
Car Guy what is that? I for one have to build my racers from the ground up, no tuner catalogs, no hot rod or super-b*tchin_ricer.com. Bodies hand made, frames made from piles of steel tubing. I have driven and wrenched Model-Ts to Vectors. Raced two, three, four and tracks. Am I a Car guy? NO just some one with a serious hobby issue. A True Car Guy stands behind a pulpit and preaches what he read in a propaganda brochure, Car enthusiasts are here for the joy and love, Gear Heads will answer your questions and lend a hand, and it seems Mechanics have been in the trenches so long they will not hesitant to ask manufactures why or WTF.
Dear Mechanic, keep throwing rocks I’ll bring more!
dvsutton says:
07:01 PM, 10/15/08
A 62' Mustang Huh? I would expect that level of knowledge from a Toyota owner. Enough said.
citronc says:
06:57 AM, 10/16/08
Don't know what to call myself, I do what I can on my cars but lack a lot of tools and a place to work on them. My car is not a typical drivers car so it probably costs me some credibility but I'm happy since it's rear wheel drive coupe with a manual transmission and gets good mileage, and it's a rarer color with the Citron Green. But as I am married and in school I'll take what I can get for now, after graduating and getting a job and a garage I'm thinking a nice used Miata (or Boxster if I get my masters after this) would be good to have on hand for various purposes. For me the one thing I can't stand is for someone to call themselves a car guy (nut, enthusiast, etc...) and not drive a manual transmission or even know how to drive one (those with disabilities/injuries excluded). And "I drive in traffic" is not an good excuse, I have crawled from Gary to Racine through Chicago many times at rush hour in a manual, crept around and through Atlanta, and creeped out of Lambeau field in a Manual 4wd pickup, if you love it enough you can do it. And I love to drive anything with 4 (or more) wheels whether it's my car or the forklifts and large trucks at my part-time job, I love driving. No a Mercedes is not a typical car for a car guy but I try to care about what I drive and try to know as much as I can for when my knowledge is asked for.
P.S. loved the 62' Mustang, I think it made one horsepower and ran on oats and had horrible particulate emissions.
alifya says:
06:45 AM, 10/17/08
I think it's stupid to say someone can't be a "car guy" because of what they drive. Observe:
"It's funny, a guy I know with an 06' 328i swears out he's a "car guy"."
What a horribly ignorant statement. What does owning a BMW have to do with not being able to be a "car guy"? Maybe the guy could be disqualified for other reasons, I don't know, but to outright call him a poser because he drives a 328i is ridiculous. What's wrong with that car?
bimmerjay says:
08:59 AM, 10/17/08
"Maybe the guy could be disqualified for other reasons, I don't know, but to outright call him a poser because he drives a 328i is ridiculous. What's wrong with that car?"
The fact that it doesn't exist? There's no such thing as a 2006 328i.
alifya says:
08:43 PM, 10/17/08
Haha. Touché.
oddcarguy says:
08:25 AM, 10/21/08
So, can you be a "Car Guy", "Car Nut", "Gearhead" if your cars aren't cool?
Case in point: '07 9-3 6M/FWD and 86 944 5M/NA.
Or am I just a Car Guy with bad taste? I'd say Car Guy has an interest in cars, Gearheads know what they're doing under the hood...making me a Car Guy with tools...