2010 Mazdaspeed 3: Tell Me a Story

if you squint real hard you can see a viper and a focus parked next to each other

"What if you only had one day to live, one final drive to take? One last spin down your favorite back road with one of these. You can have gobs of horsepower or a true manual transmission, not both. Which one do you use for your final hurrah?”

A classic case of having needing a wingman for the ugly chick....er, car. At least its down to...drive.

lock your doors at night
evil grin car is evil
your dreams aren't safe

Little Red, ridin’ in the hood, smiling away, came upon a big bad wolf of a Mercedes.
“What strange doors you have,” said Red.
“The better to make me an exotic,” replied Mercedes.
“A.M.G., what big torque you have!” exclaimed Mazda.
“The better to beat you with!” growled the SLS.

The crowd was too noisy and pushy. The camera lights way too bright. Her Germanic date for the night was too ostentatious and into himself. There he goes flexing his doors again. But Red kept smiling. No matter what, she smiled. She couldn’t help it. She was made that way.

Okay, how can anyone follow ergsum? Let's face it, the (guy?) is a genius.

Hey, ergsum, do you write for a living? If so, you are so disqualified.

(I hope everyone noticed that ergsum's story is exactly 50 words long. More genius.)

Two different cars went for a ride
When by chance they came side by side
Flex the doors to impress
And show off to the rest
Which one do you drive with more pride

Chances are that the guy driving the car on the left is wearing a watch that costs more than the car on the right.

There could only be one winner and as the Mercedes raised its gull wing doors in triumphant celebration reality finally set in. Maybe next time someone chattered. There would be no next time because when Gran Turismo 6 finally rolled around it would be much too late for the Mazda.

ed124c hit the nail on the head

One has monstrous Horsepower and planet-ripping torque, but all that luxury can only sit for display. The true sports car dust off with a smile on its face.

Sorry, ergsum, I did not notice that your first story also has 50 words. I was too blown away by your second story to notice. I have read it at least ten times, and it only gets better.
I would like to see your second story on the Jimmy Fallon show, along with the photo. He reads a lot of viewers' emails during the show. I love the show, and think he should replace Leno. But that is another story.

Off topic:
Some people tell me that they watched the Fallon show when it first came on the air, but found him to be nervous and talking way too fast. That was true, but not any longer. He has become very comfortable and his show is uniquely done. Try him again. (This has been a public service announcement.)

For Sale: Two Cars, Never Driven.