2010 Volvo XC60: You Write the Caption

Nynashamn Steamroller

modern Viking rowboat

Volvo XC60 steamrolling the competition!

Ghent bent!

"The Soon to be Flat and the Furious"

"Squishy and the Bandit"

"Two-Lane Blacktop"

"The Italian Paving Job"

Proof that California needs to be a "No Asphalt Insurance" state.

"Roadroller Warrior"

Volvo's attempts to develop a high compression engine hit a road block.

Good thing the Volvo came equipped with “Low Steamroller Resistance” tires.

Volvo XC60 is flat-out beautiful.

Our Volvo suffered from low forward "vise-ability".

Oh, I'm a steamroller, baby, just steamin' down the line. And if you don't get outta my way now, I'm gonna steam right over you!

(The song is The Steamroller Blues for those who don't recognize it. The most well known version is by James Taylor.)

Swedish style vs. American steel

Driver comfort: Volvo +1
Ride Quality: Volvo +1
Fuel Economy: Volvo +1
Ability to crush everything in front of you: Steamroller +10

Steamroller Wins!

Girl Scout Troop 4723 got their nuts crushed.

With the Challenger gone for the weekend and not a bulldozer in sight, Donna does her best to recreate Vanishing Point.

“Volvoing Point”

You've heard of "City Safety", now Volvo introduces "Steamroller Safety".

"No, CUV does NOT stand for Crushed Utility Vehicle."

"OK, stop! Your point about its handling is made!"

"Look, Karl, I know you hate the crossover craze, but no, I DON'T see the similarity."

"Things were steaming right along until the Volvo got rolled."

"It won't stop! The accident avoidance is making sure we never have an accident again! EVER!"

"In this latest comparison test, we'll see how the Volvo stacks up against the competition in city accident avoidance."

"Shhhh. Be very still. They can smell fear..."

"In the news today, Ford's hopes and dreams were crushed under the weight of reality. And steamrollers."

Bullwinkle shouted from the steamroller, "This is for Rocky you Swedish bastard!"

"Well, Volvo IS Latin for 'I roll'."

"This is how WE roll."

"The stage is set for constructive criticism."

"This Volvo DOES have roll-over protection, right?"

"With the NDA lifted, our review of the Volvo could go to press."

"We have more pressing matters to deal with!"

When Ikea meets Ikrush

"Careful, Austin! Watch out! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!Watch out! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"That's my airbag, baby."

"Swede Bump"

Flat out in the Volvo

Volvo safety feature: No squishing of heads.

"Geely better hurry up with that check."

"There's no need to wait for roads."

Rolling Swedish Thunder.

Edmund's searches for run flat tires.

The Squid vs The Roller

@everyone, what ever you do, do not look up "Swedish Steamroller" on urbandictionary.com

--(XC)60 to zero in nothing flat

--The U.S. government's new roll over safety test

--This is NOT what I meant when I said I wanted to pound the pavement

--Let's see City Safety protect you from this!

--Swedish squish

--Drat! These guys don't tip over like those tractors did!

(With a nod to hybris)

"The tires were run flat, the rest of the Volvo, not so much."

Swedish Massage Roller Extreme

Geely completes its SUV lineup.

I wonder if City Safety works for heavy machinery...

These new run flat testing standards are getting out of hand

XC60 meets Volvo's previous sheet metal designers

Volvo - Become one with the road

ergsum, shouldn't that be Boy Scout Troop?

FWIW - my top picks at this juncture - funny stuff!

"This Volvo DOES have roll-over protection, right?"

"Swede Bump"

"XC60 meets Volvo's previous sheet metal designers"

"Volvo - Become one with the road"

Swederoller

Traffic was XC-dingly crushing today!

@mnorm1, in regards to the Girls Scouts:
http://blogs.insideline.com/roadtests/2009/11/2010-volvo-xc60-chock-full-o-nuts.html

So that's how volvo went from boxy to sleek

"The Edmunds crew took City Safety testing one step too far."

"All right, let's roll!"

"One of these things is not like the others. One of these things just doesn't belong..."

Laser Detector Users, Rejoice!

Safety Collision Warning This!

@ ergsum @ 07:52 AM, 11/ 6/09:
DARN YOU ERGSUM

Tiananmen Square protest re-enactment, sponsored by Volvo

Rickrölled

The latest offering from Nordic Track

Maybe I can communicate with them in Norse Code!

Rollover testing the Volvo

It's THAT safe.

Volvo's latest attempt to iron out the kinks.

It's THAT safe.

Optional run-flats.

Optional run-flats. Check.

We heard it hugs the ground...

"The XC60 faces the competition."

"Someone's going to lose at this roller derby."

Flattest torque curve in the fleet.

"You know, hon, crushing this car is easier when the CAR is parked and the ROLLER is moving."

"Rock and roll."

"You realize cash 4 clunkers ended a while back, right?"

"Cell phone minutes, puppies and SUVs gone wild. They all get rolled over."

"I think we need a new insurance plan."

So the Swedes had this name-that-color competition...
Winner: Asphalt Roller Rust.

"Attempts to make Donna use her non-soothing voice have gone to the extreme."

"Volvo wanted to change the design of the XC60, but their plans were already set in concrete."

Keeping up with the Joneses is getting ridiculous.

"We prefer out Swedish meatballs steamed..."

"Next up is a song by The Rolling Stones..."

"Forget City Safety. Let's test the airbags! YEAH!"

Well they said they wanted an angular A-Pillar...

2010 Volvo XC60: City Safety Demo Part II

"That's the first time I heard the Volvo scream, 'Danger! Danger Will Robinson!'"

So this is how you earn 6 star crash ratings...

"The Volvo XC60: Because you medication says not to operate heavy machinery."

They see me rollin'...they're pavin'...trying to catch me ridin' Volvy

Volvo City Safety: Paving the way in pedestrian safety

Volvo - Lat. "I roll"

The Kia Soul ain't the only new way to roll.

Swedish Pancake Fail

City Safety This!

Volvo offers Cash for Crushers

A Vehicular Swede runs into is a bunch of unswerving Holy Rollers.

"Volvo debuts its newest safety feature: 'Stop Quickly When A Steamroller Hereupon' or 'SQWASH' for short."

Those are the biggest racing slicks I've ever seen.

City Safety: Standard, Run Flats: Optional

We must be late, everyone else is going the other way.

Drive a Volvo to save your life

Steamrollers for roads, Volvo for life

steamed to perfection

Volvo, rolled to perfection

runs over the competition

bit by Mazda

Ignorant NJ drivers

or

Steamroller: "Gonna crush that NJ driver"

Now with standard rollover sensor

Honey, check out what the new car can do

Inside Line testing City Safety

Inside Line tests City Safety

Använda den kraft, Luke. Använda den kraft.

Rolled over in 30 seconds or less

Woohoo, I'm ringing the bell. -- Donna

test

If you play this game of Swedish Chicken, you'll have pressed your duck!

The Swedish Chef orders some new rollers the kitchen. Bork Bork Bork!

The Volvo bought a set of Abba Rollers to workout with.

Ooot ooff my vey yuoo foockeeng esshules! Bork Bork Bork!

I cun meke-a zee vurlds lergest flepjecks veet zeese-a rullers! Bork Bork Bork!

(Check this out http://www.cs.utexas.edu/~jbc/home/chef.html)

Volvo's new Steamrolled Assistance Program at work

So safe, not even being steamrolled can hurt you!

Bork! Bork! Bork! Bork! Croonch! Greend! Splet! Sqooeesh!

It's Sv-Sv-Sv-Sven c-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me!

How IKEA makes flat-pack furniture...

"ABBAjects in Mirror May Be Flatter Than They First Appeared"

Now THOSE are low profile tires.

"The Seventh Street Road Seal"

For funkymonkey, who is sick with an infected computer:

"You ain't from around here, are ya?"

"Volvo? We're gonna make you SOB!!!"