Breaking: Santa Monica, Ca.
Top olfactory scientists were baffled at the sudden, gripping funk that took over the Inside Line Ford Flex.
"It smelled like bad bananas," says one editor who asked for anonymity, "but I searched, there were no bananas. No bananas!"
The source of the fruity fragrance remained a mystery for literally days until 6 Edmunds editors crammed into the 3-row crossover to escape the blistering desert heat and stumbled upon something horrifying.
Continued on Page 2.
A piercing "Ewww" rang from the third row, says Vehicle Testing Assistant Mike Magrath. "I heard the yell and then someone said 'We're going to need paper towels. And bleach. And do we have any latex gloves?' and that's when things got gross."
Finally, a breakthrough.
In the last row of the Ford Flex is a storage bin directly next to a round cupholder. Think back to kindergarten: round pegs go in round holes, square pegs go in square holes. Fast forward to being a parent and giving a small child a juice box and then a round hole to put it in. The contradiction must be maddening.
One child, it seems, solved the problem.
A furry box, bluish-green with mold was extracted from the cubby with expert care. Onlookers were too disgusted for photography. This grainy cell phone shot, taken with one hand cupped over the user's nose, is the only evidence that remains.
Late reports indicate that a healthy dose of Oxy Clean spray and half a roll of Bounty eliminated the remaining problem.
Mike Magrath, Vehicle Testing Assistant @ 23,982 miles
gobryngo says:
01:18 PM, 05/18/09
'It's got the stink lines and everything." As the lucky finder of the fuzzy juice box, I can attest to the nastiness of the specimen. Parents are encouraged to check that storage area frequently to avoid this scenario.
wobbly_ears says:
01:19 PM, 05/18/09
Sigh.
Living as part of Inside Line's LT fleet is like water boarding for cars.
Cheney, the Dick would be proud of you guys.
subytrojan says:
01:32 PM, 05/18/09
I think Bryn is quoting Moe Szyslak from the October 8, 1995 episode of The Simpsons in which Moe converted his tavern into a family restaurant. :thumbsup:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bart_Sells_His_Soul
penboy says:
02:12 PM, 05/18/09
It worries me on some level that I could hear Moe saying that line before I even finished reading it...
It's times like this I'm glad that the last time I has people in my minivan, the only thing left in the rear storage cubby was a pair of sunglasses, because the 'juicebox incident' just sounds nasty.
wobbly_ears says:
02:19 PM, 05/18/09
@subytrojan
Too much Simpsons isn't good for mental health, mmkay? ;)
zjev says:
07:07 PM, 05/18/09
Hee hee, that's a pretty funny post. Silly kids
surfwagon56 says:
09:16 PM, 05/19/09
I took a bunch of my students to an academic competition many years ago in my Explorer. We stopped for donuts, and a few days later the truck REEKED. I couldn't find the source of the smell until about a week later, one of the kids had finished half of his milk, and stuck the carton under the second row seat. That took a lot of cleaning to get out! :(
charlesb says:
10:35 AM, 06/ 1/09
I see a pair of tiny glowing eyes down inside that storage bin in that picture. VEry scary indeed!